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The Good Girl’s Guide to Being A D*ck by Alexandra Reinwarth
Review: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
The Good Girl’s Guide to Being a D*ck is all about embracing your inner d*ck. By putting yourself first and learning that sometimes it is best to say no, this book gives everyone the education that they need.
I was given this book as a birthday present by a friend last year and it is one of the funniest books I have read in a long time. Not only because of its witty comedy, but also because some of the scenarios described, rang so true!
It’s like watching the tv show Friends and realising the true importance of family and friendship.
“I mean, could I BE anymore right?”
Or watching Miranda and realising that you too also trip over every single object but try to style it out.
Not talking about me of course. A friend. That falls over. A lot.
Anyway!
The chapters on: Friends & family and You as a Person were hard-hitters for me. So let’s dive in….
Chapter One: You as a Person
The ‘bikini body’:
(RIP summer abroad holidays 2020 btw)
This first chapter goes straight into how women are challenged to have the ‘perfect body’ – whatever that maybe! And how despite constantly being told that we do have the perfect body, we don’t ever quite believe it!
Reinwarth says that as a kid/teenager whichever beach she went to, she would be pulling in her stomach:
“From the tender age of thirteen- and I can tell you that’s quite a few years ago- until very recently, I pulled in my tummy every single summer. Between June and September, on the beach, by the sea and the swimming pool, I only dared to take very shallow breaths…It is amazing that I didn’t suffer any long-term damage…”
Let’s have a show of hands of those who’ve done the same!
Magazines still to this day focus and then criticise every single aspect of women and men’s bodies. To name a couple recent examples:
If you look at these articles its clear to see the male perspective in them. The irony with this of course, is that it's not always men writing these objectifying articles. I think we live in a world now, where if you aren’t 10/10 then you are nobody. The pressures of going to university, being white and rich and having the most ‘amazing’ body are all things people strive for. These factors, if you cannot reach them, are upsetting.
No not upsetting,
heart-breaking.
If you aren’t this 10/10 amazing superhero person, then what’s the point?
This unhealthy image Reinwarth says needs to be thrown into the trash:
“…I find women particularly attractive when they appear to be confident and self-assured with their big nose, their frizzy hair, their wide hips and ample tummy.”
The chapter argues that confidence is sexier than fitting into some arbitrary model. That being different, being you is the sexiest thing out.
Chapter 2: Friends, Acquaintances and Strangers.
“Sometimes you need to clearly define what exactly you don’t want to care about anymore, so that you can live the life you want to.” – Reinwarth
Let’s break it down.
Reinwarth states there are 3 categories for 3 types of people:
Strangers
Acquaintances
Friends
According to Reinwarth strangers are the easiest people to deal with and with that I agree. You only see them once and then they’re gone. Boom, out of your life.
Now, acquaintances. Reinwarth states there are ‘good’ acquaintances and ‘bad’
acquaintances.
Me, I didn’t know there was such a thing.
The so called ‘good’ acquaintance (for this blog lets call these people A) can inspire you in whatever section of your life. You might not see A all of the time, but when you do it’s the exact stimulant you need. Spice up our life, and all that jazz!
HOWEVER, the ‘bad’ acquaintance (for this blog lets call these people B) are bad juju according to Reinwarth. These are the people that you try to avoid but can’t, whether that’s your doing or theirs. Basically, they’re sh*t to be around because they make you doubt yourself.
I had never come across these 2 split acquaintances, and when I read this everything clicked. I realised that I have come across both of these people, A and B. I’m a people-pleaser me and this book taught me that I need to remove the B’s from my life and keep the A’s.
Take no prisoners, my mother would say.
Ah Friends. We are so grateful for friends. Reinwarth states that “friendship is a very special phenomenon.” For me, friends are like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
In the book Reinwarth attaches this proverb with her definition of friends:
“Love asked friendship
‘Why do you exist when there is me already?’
And friendship answered;
‘To bring a smile
Where you leave tears.’”
Ahhhh……I think this sums up the point nicely to be honest! The need of people pleasing doesn’t exist in this realm. If you want to help your friend, help your friend. It is as simple as that. Because:
“Helping itself is a wonderful thing, particularly when it is selfless and done with honourable aims.”
Now, if that doesn’t make your heart warm then you are made of stone my friends.
I object!
There were certain chapters in this book that I just couldn’t agree with. And this has nothing to do with Reinwarth herself, its to do with what she has experienced and what I haven’t. I’m not married, with a full-time job, living in a flat with a kid. So, when it came to the chapters on work, marriage and love I was like: “mmmkay, I’ll take your word for it.”
However, I don’t agree with some point she made about family. In my household, family is a big thing. And I don’t say that negatively at all, family has a different meaning for all of us.
Now, the 3 year ago me would agree with Reinwarth’s point of view that:
“..from day one, we get it hammered into our heads that blood is thicker than water…”
But, for me. A lot has happened over the past 3 years. Yes, family can be a pain in the arse. But isn’t that the whole point of family?
Reinwarth seems to state that we need to be a d*ck in every sector of our lives, and she goes on to state about the interviews with ‘Auntie Mabel’, and having the intimate discussions with your uncle “who is a member of the Britain First Party.” And yes, those conversations can be tedious. I know. But, do you have to be a d*ck? Cause that would just explode back in your face, wouldn’t it?
Overall analysis:
I would recommend this book to everyone really. But the one thing I would tell them all is to be ready for the harsh truth. Reinwarth is a blunt writer, and you can see that in her writing. She has one point of view, and if you don’t agree then you are on the opposing team.
But yet again, this is always the trouble with these kinds of books. And all books as a matter of fact. You either connect, or you don’t.
I will leave you with this, by being a D*ck you free yourself from society's gaze and critiques. Releasing yourself from the judgements of the ‘bikini body’ and the so-called friends you may have, you gain a new perspective.
By being a D*ck, I guess, you are free.
Further reading:
Jennifer Aniston's article on Huffpost: For The Record
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