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“My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm. This bond between us can’t be broken, I will be here don’t you cry.” – You’ll be in My Heart by Phil Collins.
You know, when you are watching a movie and those scenes when the character’s world has been flipped upside down and they’ve lost all sense of meaning? Yeah, I think it’s fair to say that that is what we experienced as a family 2 years ago.
My Mum is my world. And yes, I know that’s a cheesy thing to say but it’s true. She makes me laugh, she has my back and she has the world’s most amazing laugh. She could win an Oscar for her laugh, it’s truly classic.
So, when you find out that your Mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer, the world just stops spinning.
And honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that helpless. And I can’t even imagine the emotions that my Mum felt.
According to Breast Cancer UK: “In UK women, around 54,700 new cases of breast cancer were diagnosed in 2017.”
And breast cancer doesn’t just happen to women, it happens to men too. According to Cancer Research UK: “There are about 350 men diagnosed each year in the UK. This compares to around 55,000 cases in women. About 1 in 100 (about 1%) of breast cancer cases in the UK are in males.”
Now I’m sure each and every one of you that’s reading this has heard about Cancer in general. Whether that’s: on the news or that a friend/family member has been diagnosed with a specific kind and degree of Cancer. But I think it’s fair to say it is still not a widely talked subject matter.
Is it me or is it a taboo subject?
We shy away from discussing the topic further. It was only after my Mum was diagnosed that I learnt more about the different kinds of breast cancers and they’re respective operations and treatments.
My Mum, you could say, was ‘lucky.’ After her diagnosis, she didn’t need to go through chemo, what she did need was a 9hr operation to remove the tumour. ‘Luckily’, this happened a month after her diagnosis. What she did have to deal with was multiple infections afterwards, which I can only imagine being highly painful and demoralizing.
I still remember that trip to the hospital to see my Mum after her operation. Me, my dad and sister rushed over to Castle Hill Hospital after work, the car was falling apart on the journey, but that didn’t matter because we made it.
My Mum was coming off the heavy medication she was administered during her surgery, so she wasn’t entirely present in the room when we arrived. I stood by her bedside and asked how she was doing, my mum looked at me with the sleepiest eyes and said:
“Georgia…you have a…a condom on your shoulder…”
And then passed out asleep.
And no reader, I did not have a condom on my shoulder. I checked and I did not have a condom on my shoulder!
I just can’t believe that out of everyone in the room, she said that to me!
It’s been a long road to recovery for my Mum and it will continue to be so. I am aware that what my Mum went through was ‘lucky’ and that I still have her in my life. I know that other women aren’t so fortunate.
So, what I’m trying to say is that for Breast Cancer Awareness Month (October 1st- 31st October) both women and men should regularly check their breasts/pecs. Sign up to text reminders to do so, because if you are anything like me my memory is like a sieve. Breast Cancer and Cancer in general is something that cannot be forgotten any longer.
And if you feel self-conscious or you don’t know what to look for, there is plenty of help out there. Such as videos/pamphlets on how to check your breasts/pecs and any signs you should be on the lookout for.
Let’s also change the conversation and talk about breast cancer. Raise awareness within our family and friends. Raise money for charities too so they can do the vital work that needs to be done to prevent breast cancer.
Don’t assume you’ll be fine. As my Mum rightfully says: assumption is the mother of all f**k ups.
2 years on and I think it’s safe to say we’re all doing fairly well. My Mum has physical scars from her operation, as well as mental ones too I imagine. After a 9-hour operation, if you came out completely fine mentally, you’d be a freak in my opinion! My Mum’s living life to the full, as she damn well should.
And, how am I? I’m ok, I think. What made this process easier was the strong family and friend network around me, my sister and my dad. I’ve also found talking about what I’ve experienced to be helpful too. I used to think talking about my Mum’s Cancer would be a sign of weakness, but instead, I think it’s the opposite.
If you are going through a life-altering experience like this, it’s important to know that you’re not alone.
I love you Mum with all my heart.
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